Meredith - your 5 years..

[cagzmom]

First and foremost if you are doing anything to get a reaction then DONT do it! PERIOD. I have learned that the very hard way. Even right now I am struggling with the what to do or not do.

Because I am doing this for ME (remember that was what I liked about this thread it was nothing about THEM and all about us!) Ok back to topic..because it is about ME I have to do what works for ME.

This is NEW to me. VERY new. In the early stages H used to do the same..come over (not often) and hang...This spring/summer he did for awhile until he really started going over the edge. IT WAS VERY HARD ON ME. I do NOT regret it as it helped I think with the transition...but I can't do it - let me rephrase I WONT do it right now.

Even with the holidays this past year - YES I WANTED him to come over for awhile and be "family" but we are a NEW family and it wouldn't have been good for any of us (FOR HIM sure us no.) MY C even said it was too soon. My heart is too raw. AND about a month ago I did have him come in and "talk/hang" for a little bit while d11 got ready to leave...IT WAS TOOOOOOOOO NORMAL. We laughed, teased WE WERE TOO COMFORTABLE. I told my C and he said that I hadn't set enough PERSONAL BOUNDARIES for it. It was NOT a bad thing just a LEARNING thing.

Which brings us to another post............