Finding my way out of the dark

[missmyfriend]

I only have a few minutes to write this as I have to get ready for work. Mishka, it does not matter his reasons for doing "acts of service" for you. Try not to analyze anything. I admit I do analyze still but I have gotten to the point that most of it does not bother me (I said most of it doesnt bother me).

He did something nice so accept it. It doesn't mean he is coming back now. It may mean he is coming back in very little ways. By analyzing it, their are modifications to your behavior, where you feel the need to do something...anything to get more of the same actions from him. The opposite usually occurs. They may decide "If she is going to react like that, I better not do things like this again".

Now don't worry that you messed up. It may have had no negative response. Just remember that your happiness does not reside within your R with your H. Focus on your first love Mishka (Rev 2:4)

And don't be so hard on yourself about reliving your feelings of rejection from when you were 16. This is normal. You are still that 16 year old girl. You are that 8 year old and that 24 year old while still being the current 36 year old. You are all the same people with the memories, insecurities and self-esteem that makes up the person you are today. It is those same girls that make the person you are in areas of loving, caring, spirituality, and other qualities. Don't flee from your past. Understand it and accept those persons as an important period in your life. Deal with the pain and realize that those were circumstances in your life but not what defines you. If you have issues with particular people that hurt you, try and make peace with them and with what happened to you. But don't do this alone. Make sure that you are very close to Him. Otherwise, the pain can be too severe and it can make situations worse.

Gotta go. I hope you have a great day!