Quote: in other words, that if I just knew FOR CERTAIN that it was OVER that I'd be able to move on.
Quote: But, frankly, I think that's me lying to myself in some ways.
I think your right...besides what would it take for you to believe that it's over..really really over...hell my h's ow has her house up for sale and is leaving her h...yet my h is still home and seems to be making progress toward "us" and I still have my doubts about "their plan".
I think we have to just decide to accept that it's over and belive it without looking for difinitive proof of it.
Quote: That takes the pressure off me NEEDING to know the unknowable -- not that H is being faithful but that he will ALWAYS be here, etc.
here's a way to look at that one...a fear my h has is that I won't always be here..or rather that I wont always allow him to be here. just as he left...I also at anytime can give up and leave or have him leave. does that offer comfort, probably not..but if you realize that the fear is on both sides it may help. inother words it does us no good to fear they will leave for they also have the fear that becuase of what they "did" we could leave also.
Quote: it was clear from the mention that they had "fooled around" in some way. I haven't brought it up to him again. Not sure why.
the less you know the better? because in asking he may become defensive putting you off..or you may hear things you aren't sure you want to know.
Quote: There's a part of me that feels that closure is only going to come if I see her
trust me on this it wont. though I never "saw" ow, I spoke to her plenty, eventually she appologized to me..actually several different occasions she did..hey I even had the pleasure of making her cry...but it offers me no solice. the things I need to hear, I need to hear from my h not ow.
Quote: In the end, I think it's going to come only from within. I'd like my H. to help me through the process but at the end of the day, it's only about my thoughts. I'm considering going away by myself for a few days and closing the door on this part of my life through some ritual or another.
excellent!!!
Quote: To remind myself over and over and over again that loving him with all of my heart through all of my fears is never, ever going to be a bad thing. Really.
!! don't forget to love yourself too!!!
