Thank you so much for your wise words and support. Can you tell that I am often "all or nothing"? You have helped me to see that letting go a bit here, a bit there is wiser and healthier than the hold it in -- blow it up philosophy. So, backtrack my statement about "bad DB'ing" and wrap it up in the thoughts that I stepped out of my normal DB flow to try something different.
One of the things that I hear from H is that when I hold thing in for too long, I give off a "vibe" that leaves him tense and upset. So, the key is, how to I shed the things that don't need to be discussed, touch lightly on the things that do and hold "onto myself" if he doesn't respond well? Getting my voice back -- not shrill and controlling but confident and sure. That's the key.
One of the sad parts for me is that H. is often defensive when I ask for reassurance...not sure if that's because I ask for it too often? But, something about the way I phrase it seems to leave him feeling as though I am judging my insecurity and sadness as HIS failure. Not my intent!
Now, onto you my dear. You are ON the boards but have resisted my gentle requests for an update from you on your thread...how are you? I am worried about you. No pressure, post here, post on your thread, post no where if that is your desire, just know that I am thinking of you.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
