Shades, for a long time I tried hard to protect my kids. I made sure to be happy guy, never mention the STBX and I, and never get mad at them. Unfortunately this was overkill.
Your daughter needs to see you get upset sometimes. Life is not perfect. We all worry so much about showing our kids how to be happy adults and grow up to be good people that we forget that a big part of what made us who we are today were the trials and tribulations that we learned from growing up.
It is important to teach our children that having disagreements, people tell you they are upset, and misunderstandings in their lives is ok. It's how you deal with those issues that develops your character.
I will make a suggestion, sit down again with D9 and discuss how you got upset. Why you got upset, that you are no longer upset. That people do get mad at each other and the best way to get over that is through being honest with each other.
Turn this whole thing into a positive for D9, and educational tool for conflict resolution. These are the lessons that define your role as a parent. The good shitt is easy, the tough lessons are what creates bonds between children and their parents.
You are doing great shades, try and remember that none of us are professional parents. We merely do the best we can and try and make the appropriate decisions on the upbringing of our kids. IMHO, your kids have one hell of a role model and as they grow older their bond with you will be very strong because of how you have handled your parental responsibilities throughout this very tough time in your life and theirs.
Take care of yourself, and for goodness sakes stop being so hard and over judgmental of your own actions. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
