Status 2 - W friendlier but still very distant

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From the experience of being here quite a while, I'd say the odds are pretty long ... Best guess all told for success? 10% But when I look at the people who I once posted to, more than half, maybe even 2/3 of those people posted for a couple months, even up to six months, then disappeared. I'd have to assume that those people ended up divorced.

I haven't been around anywhere as long as you but what you are saying fits what I've seen so far. It looks like the success rate for DBing is no better than the for couples in general who reconcile after D is filed; my guess is only a small fraction of these couples even know about DBing tho' they may go to counseling, Retrovaille, etc.

Given that almost *everyone* on this board starts off *really* wanting to save their M and many are busy DBing their a$$ off, I think it would be fair for such statistics to be published. Otherwise the success stories posted could be very misleading and invariably lead to unrealistic expectations and prolonged agony or false hope.

And I think it is indeed possible to come up with the actual numbers. My guess is it will be very disappointing to Michelle tho' I'd be pleasantly surprised if the number was any better than your guess.

I bet if the *real* statistics were published for other programs they would not be much different than for DBing tho' R-vaille claims 80% success which I very much doubt is realistic. There is the "smartmarriages" organization - these folks are passionate about marriage and I bet if anyone can come up with the real numbers it would be them.