Just_Me, I read up a bit on your threads and looks like you went thru' the same phase I'm in now and have some regrets on how you handled it: what would you do differently if you had to go thru' it again given what you know now
I never had to deal with an angry spouse. She wasn't that way. We had a pretty good relationship as friends. There were times it was the best relationship we ever had, but just wasn't enough for me because I wanted it all. So dealing with a wife spewing forth anger isn't really my experience. I actually wonder about what anger may mean. To me, it may suggest the same thing as nagging; that she wants something to be different. She brings up all the faults you have, but is that so you'll fix them? Is it so you'll validate her feelings. Maybe she still wants to be heard and it may diffuse some of this anger.
What would I do differently: 1-not be so impatient 2-realize that if anything is going to happen it's going to be on her time schedule, not mine. 3-not dated. Not got involved with anyone. 4-Not went dark 5-Not given her the impression, from getting so busy moving on, that I didn't care.
What I would have still done: 1-continued to be her friend 2-listen, listen, listen 3-be supportive 4-be upbeat 5-be secure 6-made changes in myself---the problem is, that back together I slip up and don't hold up my end all the time. I'm more cognizant of what I could do better, but there are still old patterns that come back. 7-read "when anger hurts". I've had to glance through it again at times.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
