Saw your post on Steve's thread - I am on my way. I'm short of time tonight but will be along soon ... my H moved out 6 months after I'd decided I wasn't treating him very well and decided to be nicer... I did blame, guilt, anger, threats ... I did it ALL wrong until I found DB'ing, which was about 7 months after my original bomb ... after H had moved back in and there was so much I didn't realise when he moved back .. it was still bad but I couldn't see it .. he was still depressed, didn't love me etc etc
what did I do? In a nutshell took all the energy I had been using on trying to "fix" my H and put it into myself. I fixed myself, my insecurities, my demanding-ness, my strops and power struggles. I was a MESS. I screwed up every R I ever had until I found DB. My pure focus was on me, I knew that unless I fixed myself every R I had in the future, be it with my H or anyone else, would follow the same course (me getting stroppy and demanding, them getting fed up and walking off). I have a lot of energy and drive, but i've learned that there is only one person you can drive (or control) and that is yourself.
Phew!! More later soon, proise. You're in my watched users, feel free to ask away and I will be keeping an eye on you
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
