The seperation could do both of you good to have a timeout to reflect on your M. However, please proceed with caution on making sure you a$$ is covered legally by moving out. See a L first to get some advise for yourself on the financial impact of leaving the house and on the custody issue. I feel nervous with your statement "I am guessing that she will not be able to do it". What if she can do it - wont that set a precedence.
In our case, we came up with a 50/50 parenting plan we both agreed to before discussing any financials. Ours is what is called a 5/5/2/2 plan as that is how many days in a row each of us get during a cycle . I always have Mon/Tue, W always has Wed/Thu and we alternate on Fri/Sat/Sun.
As for the mediator, my W and I started with seperate L's and I talked her into seeing a mediator that once practiced as an L in family law. It turns out that this mediator could do all the D paperwork for us. We both were happy with the meditor as she spelled out what was fair to both of us.
On the good news front, we have both decided to cancel the next mediator appointment (where we presented our budgets) because W is contemplating the possibility of saving our M. She says she misses me and our family life. So getting seperated is not necessarily the end - it could be just the time your W needs to turn her mind around. Maybe her having full custody might cause her to not have time for herself and wish for the family she once had back.
