In my sitch I, like everyone here, wish my W would wake up and see that there are other choices, but she is so determined to leave that she will accept a dramatic chance in living standards and the damage it will do to our children to get out.
What she thinks is that kids are resilient. She thinks that it will be better for them to see her happy outside the home than to see her unhappy IN it.
You were quoting BradNL, I didn't say this.
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Both thoughts are amiss but what I'd like to know is just when you intend to stop thinking you know it all, Frank? You think you have this all sewed up. That you know what you think and feel and why you think and feel it. You think you know what she thinks and feels - or doesn't feel - and why she thinks and feels it - or doesn't feel it. If I get that impression of you from the board, how much more must she feel it living under the same roof?
I actually don't know what she thinks or feels any more. I've kind of given up on it today.
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Do you know what would absolutely set your sitch on it's ear?
Instead of moping around about the marriage you had that actually did leave a whole lot to be desired by the both of you - which you have forgotten...why don't you do an about face? Instead of the sadness punctuated by the snarky remarks the you are occasionally dropping, which will only alienate her further, why don't you think about doing the unexpected and SUPPORT her decision to leave.
I haven't been dropping any remarks to her at all. This morning I said 'this is the way it'll be when you move out anyway' in a 'matter of fact' way, nothing else.
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Yep, it's absolutely a radical idea, I admit but one that is being impressed on me more and more each day.
Die to self.
It's not condoning or excusing.
It's loving "in spite of".
Lift your wife up and let her fly.
ok, what does that 'look like'? I don't really interact with her much, I'm trying to grieve the loss on my own and being around her makes that difficult.
I talk to her, but mostly I don't say much unless she starts a conversation with me.
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I want you to do something that is going to benefit your soul.
Love her unconditionally.
Support her decision to leave and find her own way.
I think I am working towards this. I don't like it but I'm not resisting it like I used to be. What ideas do you propose?
