He emailed me today and is just fine now though. I don't get it. This NC/detachment is hard for me and I don't get how it is most people here can do it/have done it and I'm still not able to get to that point?
Dar, his emotions are a bit of a train wreck, day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, even. But it seems to me, that for him, you are still a trigger for negative emotions. Not all the time, but it seems to be a pattern. So, for now, keeping contact minimized seems to me to be a good idea. I think you can respond to him, if there are things of substance to respond to, otherwise, keep quiet. Let him start the contact, as he is ready.
There are a lot of people besides you that struggle with this dar, even people that are (hopefully) succeeding. Do your best every day. Try to do a little better every day. When you slip, try to understand what happened, then put it behing you, and get going again. You can do it!
But you said he still sees negative things in relation to me. If I saw someone and it brought up negatives, I don't think I'd want to be a part of that.
It used to be every interaction was negative. I think that there have been more positiove ones lately. But he is still flopping all around! He needs to cook a while longer, he's not done, he isn't ready to be fully in the marriage. I wish I could tell you how long!
I did ask H if he would like to go to this Parents Night Out the school is having. I told him we don't have to look at it as a date, but just parents out supporting the school. It's a live and silent auction on a ton things. Plus there's dinner, open bar, pool, bowling etc included and not too too pricey to have that all included. The money all goes to the school to complete a new playground. I haven't heard back from him yet and I need to get back to this person by Friday. I told him I was going either way, just thought I'd ask him as well since the invite is addressed to both of us.
