I'd like to think I'd choose friends--but truly, being friends with someone who you want as an H is in a way worse than having him out of my life as much as possible. He'll always know I wanted more and I'll wonder, if he ends up with another woman in the future, what she has that I don't.
There is no right answer to this question (one of the reasons I didn't want to influence you with what I think for myself). It's something we all come to for ourselves. as far as the imbalance goes, I think time gives us perspective. I can tell you I see things differently now than I did a year ago. In reading different threads here I see the changes in others too so I know we all evolve to different places and at different times.
Going out alone may not seem apealing, but you want to stay home with him? Why? Is it b/c you're afraid of the limited time you'll have left to spend with him and you want to grab every second? Don't you think you telegraph to him whatever it is your thinking/feeling? I know it's hard, but you have to start somewhere.
Btw, you don't make plans so that he will notice. I know you know this. I also know you're in a place where you want him to notice and show he cares. Right now you have to care for you. He's doing his own thing. What types of things do you like to do? Movies, dinner, book store browsing? If you just do it, it'll be easier next time and before you know it you'll actually be enjoying yourself. What about a class? Something to get you out and occupy your mind.
