I know our (men v. women) love languages are different. I can remember a time when I thought all my H wanted me around for was sex. (Of course now I wish he just wanted me.)
I never really thought of being touched or wanted as a sign that H loved me---maybe I'm weird, maybe it's a woman thing I don't know. I do know that the times when my H would do things for me----clean the house, ask me if he could help with things around the house and just want to be with me made me feel loved. I didn't feel extra loved when he would grab me from behind when I was bending over----now I would, but I can't change the past.
I don't want to tell you men what to do----but if your W's react weird to touch you may want to change your approach----someone told me to watch old Doris Day movies to learn how to fake happy. Maybe men need to watch the old movies too----learn how to romance a little with less emphasis on sex (if possible). Try asking if there's anything you can do to help, listen to what they say or think back to things that have been said in the past for clues on what they want or what is special to them.
I kind of got into trouble around Christmas because I mentioned on one of the threads that the jewelry commercials were really hard to take. Some of the men thought I was complaining that I wasn't getting enough diamonds. But, it was the romance---not the jewelry. A romantic evening and being surprised by something special, or a special gesture would mean as much as a big rock (to me). Heck right now I would take a handful of mud.
None of this advice will probably help much with a wacky MLC wife, but it's something to think about.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Actually Di, I think you're right on target. So your language is "Acts of Service"?
I think my wife's is "Receiving Gifts" based on her reactions to my anniversary and Valentines day gifts.
And I think you're right about men needing to learn to romance a little. I'd love to have a second chance. Unfortunately, right now, she's a long ways away from being receptive to any romancing.
So...Di, why don't you give us romantically challenged guys a little lesson in romance? What, for you, constitutes a romantic evening?
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
I love reading your thread! It's funny, knowledgable, inspirational and Thank You So much for leaving me that big tip after I served your dinner the other night
I just wanted to comment on a romantic evening......I don't really know what one is right now, but unfortunatly I had the chance to help a co-worker plan his for Valentines Day!
He hired a personal Chef...I think he found him at the Culinary School....so Valentine's Eve I stalled her at work when she came in to pick up her child ( friend had left earlier ) he had placed rose petals at the front door leading into the dining room.....a menu of the evenings meal was set out on the table, the finest china and wine glasses...roses, rose petals adorned the table....of course appropriate music in the background. A small but well thought out gift was placed inside a rose bud...he asked her to peel away the petals....
The Chef prepared dinner and cleaned up everything....in their home.
Sigh..
I thought that was so clever and very romantic
Hugs Bomb.....and your right, it is the little things that count.
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
By the way, as far as paying attention to the little things...you're right. My wife was in a gift shop a couple of days before our anniversary. Instead of politely waiting outside, or going over to sporting goods, I kinda hung back and watched what she was doing. I saw her pick up one item and smile. Bingo. She was very surprised when she opened the package.
See? We men are trainable! Just don't ask us to put down the toilet seat...
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
We men are trainable! Just don't ask us to put down the toilet seat...
Can't you buy remotes that do that?
I think something romantic is your spouse knowing what you would like. I don't mean like mind reading but by doing what you did Bomb - by hanging back and observing and then acting on those observations.
Last night I had a girls night out,( - a quiz night and we did fine without any guys even though there were loads of sports questions; just thought I'd add that in!!-), and one of my friends was saying about how many many months ago, she and her H went to a local art festival and she saw a painting that was being exhibited. She loved it but it wasn't for sale. Her H spent months tracking down the artist and persuading them to sell this picture. It didn't cost much financially but the time, thought and effort he put into it were amazing. That's love.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Funny story: at MC last week, the C asked W if there were two things she could change about me, what would they be?
Wife thinks hard, you can see the wheels turning...and then...the answer: "He needs to put the toilet seat down. And stop wearing his dirty boots in the house!"
What kind of sports questions?
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Just wanted to let you guys know that I got a kiss goodbye this morning. Nothing yet from her Lawyer on S. I have no idea what is going on. Last night she announced at 7PM that she had to go out and show some apartments to customers and was gone til 9:30. I didn't ask her where she was or what she was doing and i think she appriciated that. I don't ask for I don't believe anything she says. She may have gone to met OM but there is nothing i can do about that and really don't want to know. A little upsetting because our favorate show was on and I wanted to watch it as a family. She did come in to my room to say goodnight (twice), I am thinking about asking her if I can sleep in her room soon. Waht do you think?
Funny story: at MC last week, the C asked W if there were two things she could change about me, what would they be?
Wife thinks hard, you can see the wheels turning...and then...the answer: "He needs to put the toilet seat down. And stop wearing his dirty boots in the house!"
What kind of sports questions?
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Funny story: at MC last week, the C asked W if there were two things she could change about me, what would they be?
Wife thinks hard, you can see the wheels turning...and then...the answer: "He needs to put the toilet seat down. And stop wearing his dirty boots in the house!"
What kind of sports questions?
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
