unless I see that he is willing to work on our marriage
At this point, it sure looks like he's not really very interested. Anything on your part that demands he work on it is pursuit, and will likely drive him farther away. He is trying to sort how how he feels about being married, and he doesn't need to be reminded about why he has a need to question it.
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One of my favourites is when he has said, "I'm still wearing a wedding ring. I still consider myself to be married.". I just have to laugh,
Kiki, this is a HUGE statement that he makes. He still considers himself married, and you laugh at him? He is in pain, he is struggling with whether he wants to stay married. Believe what he says, and don't do anything that makes him question it.
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I now have 2 people telling that I should see legal counsel. I know it's because they don't want me to be continually hurt...
You have this right. They are pained by seeing you hurt. However, they are not even beginning to consider how hurt you and your kids will be by the process of going through a divorce. Your time and money may be better spend on therapy, hopefully with your H. [/quote]
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I have to take care of myself, my kids and of our future.
Yes, you do. Do that first before you do anything about your H. As long as you obsess about him, pursue him, make demands and ultimatum of him, you are not taking care of yourself or you kids. Leave him alone and take care of you. He cannot make you happy, and you cannot make him happy. You can only make yourself happy, so do that first. People are attracted to happy, loving people and are repelled by demanding, needy, miserable people. Do what works, avoid what doesn't.
