I am glad that you are working on getting yourself back. That will do wonders whether your H comes back or not. The fact that you have to wait a year is good. That way you can give him his space without worrying that you are going to be served papers. In my case, H filed a little over a month after leaving.
I am not sure why he was cruel and mean, other than the fact that when he was mean it made me angry and when I got angry at him it eased his guilt for leaving or made him feel justified. I also think that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be when he left and he took that out on me too. Now he has no explanation for the things he did and when I tell him some of the things he said he doesn't even remember saying them.
It is hard to talk to them like nothing is wrong and to not bring up the R. One of the reasons I went so long without talking to H is because it seemed to set me back everytime I did.
As far as ignoring the email, maybe it was a good thing to do. If it is important he will call or email again. I wish I had had the strength to ignore my H sometimes.
