Woog - One of the things you will discover in he Five Love Languages books is that love is something we chose to do. It's not the same as "feeling loved". Neither of you is feeling loved right now. Not you because of her behavior. Not her because she has built a wall. You, on the other hand are loving her. That's a choice you made. And you made that choice even though you are not getting anything back right now.

So when she says she doesn't love you, she is saying she has chosen not to give you love. Or she may be confusing "feeling loved" with chosing to love. That's the ship you have to turn around.

The most valuable parts of DR book are the different suggestions to showing love - mixing things up, trying something different. In Five Love Languages, Chapman describes it as "filling her love tank".

Don't focus on the circumstances. Focus on the goal.

Me - 43 and She -36. No kids.
Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs