It was different for me. I tried to be nice - he would get nastier. He took "nice" as my continued interest in him. I never asked him questions nor did he of me. But he was horrible. He never calls that he isn't mean and cruel. I couldn't take it so stopped it.
Your children are younger. If you can keep up a businesslike R - more power to you. You are right in that respect - it is what is best for your kids.
