Meredith - your 5 years..

[Meredith]

First, a real quick answer to Cagz, then I'll get on with the tpaschal.

NOPE, you are not a bad girl for thinking of him dying!!! That is my public service announcement of the day.

In fact, maybe that is a good idea for tpascal. Since it might be a tad much to picture your husband, um, deceased... let's picture him gone instead. He's on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. Crap. Now what?

Well, now you have to go back to work since deserted islands don't pay well. There isn't any cell phone reception there either so you can't even call to tell him what a total piece of you-know-what he is for eating coconuts all day long while you work your fingers to the bone to put broccoli on the table. He blew up his ship (intentionally) so he's not going to be able to get back to the mainland anytime soon.

Basically, he's eating coconuts under palm trees and you need to process your anger AND get on with getting on. Since we don't know if he'll build another ship or not, we can't count on him but we can hope if we want to. So, all of our stock is in you, baby.

Childcare - what are the choices? YOUR choices, who cares what that coconut-eater wants, he's busy eating coconuts! We'll send a messenger bird out there with the new plan, just to keep him informed, but since he's not going to be an active part of the solution he really doesn't need to be an active part in the decision either.

Obviously this isn't the cure all since he will be an influence in his children's lives and you can't REALLY kick him to an island. But it might help to visualize solutions better...

Back to CMNM on this...