The strangeness continues..... I watched a hockey game last night while she was on her laptop. At one point she asks me about a 3 day trip she is planning to take with the kids during spring break. I have Hiltonhhonors points that I can book a stay for them with but I am hesitant to do so. She also asks me if i had a thought for her sister today? I said yes but I did not want to bring it up to her because I was afraid it would bring her down. Anyhow the game is over and she asks if she can put on a DVD. So I spend the next 1/2 hr. watching home movies of her mom's family (1960 - 1970). Also in there was her mom's wedding. When she sat next to me on the couch she sat closer than usual.... closer than when she is distant. When the movies are over she goes to bed. Good night kisses were very long followed by her playing with what is left of my hair (almost a massage). At one point she says what am I doing? I answered "stop fighting it and enjoy the moment". I wonder sometimes why I journal here. I guess I am hoping some how that someone reads me and says yes this sounds famliar and it happened to me also and this is what you should do etc........I guess it also helps because I can't call someone and tell them all the details.....most people think I am nuts for still living at home.
Realtor is supposed to visit the house today. Due to the inclement weather, D7's school is cancelled. So...W suggested that I take D7 out for an hour so that she does not find out about the sale. I wonder when she plans to tell her...unless there will be no sign in front of our house. If she does not want to tell D7 about the house, what will happen when we have to tell her about the speration / divorce. Maybe it is just me but my W is getting closer to me....I see it in her eyes......strangely, I am the one who is geting ready to leave. Maybe we just need some time apart from each other. Maybe I will never leave....I already have a place to stay...my parent's have an empty apt. which will be available March 1. That is the plan for now...we will see what happens from now until then.
That is what it looks like to me. Actually she has verbalized it. She thinks that I will be around to support her. Yesterday, she started negotiations with me regarding the house. She wants to buy me out so that (get this) D7 can stay with her and not be too "disrupted". She has it all figured out....her mom is going to move in and help with mortgage and with D7. The original discussions we had regarding money has now changed slightly. As anticipated, the guilt is dissipating and she is not as "generous".
Yeah disrupting 7D is a definitely realizing what she is doing. However, legally I recall this is actually a point against you when it comes to custody issues because of that very idea. Legally they will want to do as little as possible to disrupt, in my words, "what has been". Something to consider...
Early on I did just about anything to make WAW easy and to not make her anger/aggrevated...You need to consider if the house thing is what you want. Don't lose what you need while she is so confused. Don't be her doormat. Don't make her angry either...fine line..
If I can be very honest, I don't think she can take care of D7 alone. I don't think she can afford the payments on the house alone either. So what do i do? Do I let her off easy (ie. take less money) or do I stand my ground and stick to my number. If she can't afford the payments then we sell...end of story.
One more comment if I may. She keeps saying that if in 6 - 8 -12 months she realizes that she made a mistake then we will still have the house. Another one is if I realize that I can't make the payments, I'll sell the house (shouldn't she know this before hand?) This is the type of stuff I am living with day in day out.
Maybe I am the one who is out in left field, but I am sticking to my number. if she can't afford it so be it. D7 will already be disrupted with the separation...she will deal with a new home. It is not my decision to not try to work this out...she decided to go down this road and she needs to realize the consequences. I'll probably soften my position. One last thing she wants custody of D7 with me being able to pick her up anytime.
I'd make sure, if you must go down the legal road, it is spelled out exactly how you want. As an example my wife has it 2 days a week but provision four says any other time agreed which is her way of saying maintain the equal schedule. But the day she gets mad like x-mas eve, I didn't get 5D as planned. So, if it was legally drawn up her way, I'd have no leg to stand on and just got to get over it, no matter how wrong it was of her.
But I certainly wouldn't push it...this in 6-8-12 months she's made a mistake makes it seem like you aren't out of the picture entirely. So, do your best to DB because she is looking. Be the magnet.
