Thankyou thankyou to all my lovely advisors (Kalani, One Day, Dry Heat, Ali, T). I really appreciate your support. Thank you all for sharing my excitement, its so nice to be able to share this with people who get it.
Finally I get to post something juicy, instead of waiting, waiting followed by more waiting!
I was going to make him wait till tomorrow, but funnily my fingers got a life of their own and before my head could stop my heart had pressed dial on the phone.
EEEEKKK! Not sure how I'm feeling..... its so sureal talking to him (so familiar, but so removed at the same time)
Anyway good things were....
He was at home watching TV. He has been working hard, but not really enjoying it, and its not going as well as he had hoped.
And he said he had had a weird few days and was missing my family and thinking about me (he saw my Dad yesterday) and even missing my sisters dog. I said that the dog probably missed him too. He said that he hadn't expected to miss anyone and he was finding it weird (OMG he's crazy - did he honestly think he would never miss me or my extended family?!? Its been 5 months and only the last couple of days you've started to miss us??!? - abducted by aliens for sure!). I think he is quite lonely - sucker!! Ha ha! (I'm actually a nice person in real life but you have to be able to laugh at the craziness!)
And he said that he worried about me sometimes. And I said "worried about me?? I'm good!" And I think I made oohhh noises, like ooohh you're sweet and caring H (.....although not caring or worried enough about me to stay married, but hey I'm not going to point that out at this stage! ha ha!!)
He did majority of the talking. At the moment I think I might need to do a bit of a 180 on this - I'm always the good listener, and I don't share unless someone specifically asks. Maybe I need to be selling my GAL thing a bit more? Or maybe not?
Now I know that that sounds good that he was worried about me, but at the time when he was saying that I was thinking that it sounded final. Like he's worried how I'm going to cope without him forever.
He did say he wanted to stay in touch more. And he was hoping to come over in a few weeks time to copy some digital photos. (I resisted the temptation to mention that buddy I've already packed up all the things I thought were yours.... - I think I will wait until he specifically asks instead of forcing the boxes of stuff on him).
And he was worried about my mobile phone contract being out soon.
Hmmm I really think I should have talked more about me, but he honestly didnt ask anything except how work was (and I told him about the interview etc). I was trying to be a bit mysterious, but I dont think it worked, I think I just sounded boring... I need specific help on this. I have been doing great GAL things, and I am actually loving being single, but I feel a bit disappointed I didnt get to tell him. Obviously he is still in some sort of crisis and it isnt entering his head that I might be moving on without him. Apart from having a hunky semi-naked guy answer the door next time H makes contact how can I make him feel like I'm moving on and happy so that he isnt worried about me and he has to start to chase me?
I'm great and doing great, the last person I need sympathy from is him. I would love to say 'the best thing you ever did was leave me' (sometimes that is how I feel, because I have grown so much and I'm so much happier and centered now). I just dont think comments like that would be helpful (although funny!)
I guess the best thing is that he isnt calling to say he's met someone new and he's going to become a father.... I'm not ready for news like that!
One Day - I tried smiling when talking, but it was getting a bit strange cause I was smiling while trying to make sympathetic noises! Ha! I hope he got that I'm happy. Thankyou for your advice. I tried Jeff's advice too of letting him lead the tone of the conversation (except he's moppy and I want to show that I'm happy, and his main topic of conversation was himself). I need more practise at having contact, at the moment there are too many conflicting thoughts running through my head.
