MMF, Thanks for your insightful thoughts. I agree that finances is often a difficult topic to discuss. It was always tough for us, for sure. It's alos related to baggage from his 1st M where he felt that his xW ripped him off. I think he always worried about money and his parents have often helped him out with this and that through their generosity. SOmetimes, I think he's been spoilt by his parents generosity and sometimes I feel that he expects me to bail him out. I have paid for some big items just because he says it's not what he wants so if I want it I have to pay, e.g. expenses related to starting a family. I guess sometimes I questioned his love for me. Sometimes, things like these, makes me wonder if his efforts towards the M (before the separation) was to win my love rather than to show me true love.
Since the separation, I have been trying my best to give him the benefit of the doubt. Now, I am trying to trust God to change my H, for him to take ownership of his circumstances instead of blaming his "misfortunes" or his unhappiness on me or on God.
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Chances are that he will be trying to be honest with you but it will be his perception of the finances as he sees them. Try to keep it as non-personal as you can.
Well said. Yes, I have to try to keep this non-personal. This is challenging for me.
I think you'll appreciate this story: Tonight, I had a pretty horrible experience. After my dog's hydrotherapy, I put her in the car. AFter I shut the car door, I realized that the door locked (without me locking it). Not sure how it happened. My door locks have been playing up lately. Anyway, my purse and spare key and cell phone were also inside the car. The pool owner spent the next 2 hours trying to locate a locksmith. In the meantime, a cop came out to help, to no avail. SO my poor dog was freezing inside the cold, cold car with her WET fur. Finally, the locksmith showed up (2.5 hours later), and after $180, got the door unlocked. My poor dog was literally frozen. Her ears were hard from, and there was ice all over her fur. Poor baby! I think I will need to wear a necklace with my car key on it. I just got home!!!
