Confusion of a WAW (Thread 7)

I think the problem you have is your W is the one controlling the times when you do things as a family. You need to say "no" more often when she wants to hang out. Maybe become more of the mystery guy - dont let her know what is going on in your life (except if it pertains to D).

What would happen if you gave the perception of the WAH? Your W might see this as a challenge to try and win you back. Doesn't the same thing happen with OM when he dates other gals? - it causes your W to only want to be with him more.

You're probably right - Being less available and mysterious is a good step. I certainly agree that the whole "they want what they can't have" is a significant factor. W pretty much knows I'll be around, so maybe if I'm not she'll wake up a little.

I'm sure I will get a "Why don't you care anymore" response - That is what happened the first time around.

I think you are eventually going to get to being the WAH after a while of this craziness.

Certainly everyone has their breaking point, that's for sure. You've made the WAH comment a few times - What makes you believe that?

I agree with Sandi that you really need to try the LRT. How would you see the LRT back firing on you? I doubt your W has it in her to file for a D in the roller coaster state she is in.

Just be prepared for the next time she falls on her face and needs your help. You need to decide whether helping her just makes you a doormat.

At the very least I need to do something different - What I'm doing right now doesn't seem to be getting anyone anywhere. I have no idea if my W would file D or not - I would think the more relaxed she is and the less she has to actually deal with anything related to the M, the less she'll care about filing for D. Of course, she can't afford an attorney right now either, so I don't think she'll do much.