Hi Purr and Bomb...thanks for your descriptions Bomb, its really helpful to me too. My BF is acting so...oddly! His Dad died a couple of years ago and it has taken a while to really hit him I think. So often its a trigger like that. Do you know what might have been a trigger for your W Purr?
I was sorry to hear that you were properly upset, I really felt it for you, I was the same after seeing him every week or so after he first moved out. You just feel so, bereft. Words cant really describe it, but its a physical pain. That went on for over 2 months for me. But after 3 it wasnt so bad! And now I dont cry every day anymore (amazing!).
I also relate to your assesment of yourself as lonely and pathetic (you're not, you're just not an extrovert! It takes all sorts to make a world :-) we cant all be centre of attention). I used to say to my BF, I'd be so lonely without you, you'd be fine as you have so many friends, but I would have a huge hole in my life. Well I was right. And that wasnt a good way to conduct my R I see now, I had relied on him a little too much. I realise I need to make friends and it is now happening for me, but I was always a little shy with new people. But gradually, you start to open up to people, becuase frankly, you have to! Your partner isnt there anymore to cushion you. Its great that you are going to try some clubs, although it takes time to push yourself out there. Its not something you've done or wanted to do in recent times, and now you're being forced to do it and under difficult circumstances - as Bomb says, you are basically bereaved right now and grieving. So I wish you luck, rome wasnt built in a day, but we will get there! I still do spend nearly every evening home alone (tied to this thing!!) but I get the odd invitation and I always accept now, no matter how rubbish I feel, as you feel fine once you are out.
I agree with Bomb, appearances can be deceptive. My BF gave me such a resolute, determined stance the whole time to begin with but that is crumbling now. I think they built up a head of steam and confidene in order to actually make the break, but once the effort of carrying out the decision wears off, and things settle, and they are left to face their decision (left alone by us DB pros!), then the wind may drop out of her sails! I experienced my BF looking seriously deflated by end of Jan, after 3 months of appearing strong and getting on. But, we will see, I dont know what the next stage will bring yet!
Thinking of you, dont tell yourself off for crying and think you may be in danger of "whining", you are human and you love her and it hurts and you have every right to cry and wail !! Its normal, not whingeing :-)
