At this point I awoke from the dream with tears in my eyes, sat straight up, and then realized it was only a dream. But this was the opposite of relief.
I can say with confidence that my "reconciliation" dreams are so much harder to have than any dream involving H and I fighting, divorcing, or even the kids living with this. Its the cold hard reality, waking up alone, knowing the real truth is that my actual life is the nightmare, and the dream was my escape. Very hard to get out of bed.
Nocode, you had a big shock with the actual confirmation and you were very focused on getting the truth. It takes awhile to sink in. H told me of his A on a Saturday and I didn't cry until Tuesday. Then it was like your shower incident. In fact, I had the girls with me, so I got IN the shower to hide my tears from them.
I can only offer you hugs, and I know, even if just from the Internet, that your wife has not only rewritten history, but has rewritten your heart, your soul. You are far from uncaring and cold, just the opposite. I hope you know this.
