Something just occurred to me. Perhaps guys don't pick people like their mothers; instead the wife starts acting like his mother because she gets more of a reaction when she uses the same signals his mother does, and over time she tends to do more of what works. I could see how that would work on women as well.
But if the guy didn't get the same familiar reactions from the girl from the get-go, the two would have never made it past the first date. I don't think people can change so easily to start pushing different buttons. I think they tend to push the same buttons, only in different ways, but he fact that they "have" to push a particular button means they will tend toward a certain type of woman, just like dear old mom. Remember, even mom was a nice, loving person at one stage in her life.
