Thanks Jeff. Yea, I didn't sound unhappy about him not able to watch her or anything. He emailed me letting me know he's at home sick still today and that he still plans on coming to the school meeting on Wed. He hasn't brought up the part about us talking again, and neither have I. I'm very anxious and want to ask him if he still wants to set up time to talk, but at the same time I don't want to pressure it.
H called last night. Spoke for a bit. Then he was going off about crap and was cursing at me telling me I'm f'ing crazy etc. I couldn't take being nice, I lashed. Mistake, I know but how can you still there and listen to someone call you name and say you're f'ing crazy. I told him it's obvious to me that he doesn't want to be married by the way he's talking/acting. He said "you know what, you're 100% right as usual. whatever!" Then he asked if he can talk to "his daughter". I told him he'll need to calm down before doing so. He told me he's completely fine.
One thing I found odd that's sticking in my head today is I said something about him living with friends. He got angry at that and said "you always f'ing say that!" "Like I can f'ing stand it here dar!" If he's soo unhappy there, then why not move back to his parents and see if that helps him?
BND, I was trying to listen and validate, but how do you do that when all he wanted to do was yell and curse me?
What am I doing so wrong that he gets angry like this towards me? I was being VERY kind, upbeat and understanding the past week. I didn't complain that he couldn't make it to D's party, or yesterday to watch her, or that I haven't gotten money in 2 weeks. So what the heck? He's mad that I'm being so nice or what???
GRRRR! That's very hard for me to do BND! He wasn't angry like this until yesterday really. Not this angry anyway. What the heck made him turn? He's had days in bed with NC from our end. Maybe he sees how pathetic/ridiculous this all is.
Okay, so back to NC. I'll need the continued support from the wonderful friends on this board though for sure. I do fine NC when I'm at home and on weekends. I don't call him. It's this darn computer here that gets me since it's easy to email/text him through the computer.
(((((dar))))) I think NC is right. When he gets angry like that, you need to remove yourself from it. I think you are better off just hanging up than getting defensive, or lashing out. I think the anger is an expected part of this, he is frustrated, he is unhappy, and he can't figure out why! At this point, it is still easiest for him to blame you. Try not to give him ammunition in that effort!
He wasn't angry like this until yesterday really. Not this angry anyway. What the heck made him turn? He's had days in bed with NC from our end. Maybe he sees how pathetic/ridiculous this all is.