I dont know much about your situation, but it does sound to me that your H may be in a MLC as you are suspecting.
My H is completely consumed with his career, tried to have an Affair(which didn't go to well for him), and also said the same things about feeling like he is spiralling and suffocating.
These signs, come from depression and often cause them to have a huge crisis. Buckel your seat belt because you are in for a bumpy long ride on his rollercoaster. This will take years most likely for him to heal and wake up and see that these are all his issues in which he placing the blame on you.
Do not feel guilty about focusing on your role as a mother, it sounds you are just trying to be the best mom you can be and trying to adjust to motherhood. He should be standing by you and supporting you, but he can't becuase he is too busy blaming you (I am sure) for holding him back from all that the world has to offer.
Go with what your gut is telling you, as it definetly sounds like a MLC to me. And yes, it is like a sickness (a mental illness), and they are the only ones that can cure it for themselves. Read everything you can about this for understanding.
I have a list of tips and pointers that I have learned in the past year posted here on the solution-journal thread from Tipper. It may help guide you through some of this also.
Read up, have patience, and have faith!!!!!!!!!! TIPPER
