Just a little update as I have really given up hope of anything to do with this man (ex man). From the very first week our son was born ex opened a bank account for him, he had a measly ten pounds a week put into it supposedly for son's first car when he reached 18 years, well can you believe he as now stopped that as well. what a mean pathetic controlled wimp the toad has turned into. How does he ever think he is gonna have a relationship with his son in years to come by all the horrible mean childish petty things he is doing to him, yes he is now taking it out on his only child as he can't get to me anymore.
Just a little update as I have really given up hope of anything to do with this man (ex man). From the very first week our son was born ex opened a bank account for him, he had a measly ten pounds a week put into it supposedly for son's first car when he reached 18 years, well can you believe he as now stopped that as well. what a mean pathetic controlled wimp the toad has turned into. How does he ever think he is gonna have a relationship with his son in years to come by all the horrible mean childish petty things he is doing to him, yes he is now taking it out on his only child as he can't get to me anymore.
just a quick update as braveheart requested, nothing to report really, ex hasn't been in touch either with myself or his son, coming up to the year mark for non contact with his son. my solicitor contacted his solicitor re the order from the court being finalised, in which ex has to place son's bank accounts into mine or son's name because they are all in ex's name at the moment, he should have done this by january 1st and hasn't my solicitor says they just didn't reply to her letter and so was sending another, she thinks that because it is done in court he probably thinks he can get away with being ignorant but says that she will contact him direct, also if he touches the money that is son's she will then take him to court for theft.I believe he is up to his eyeballs in debt, but then again this is what she as done with her ex husbands all three of them, the house isn't sold yet so that is more for him to shell out each month, because he thought that once he kicked us out it would sell more or less the next day, it isn't so he is now having to pay to heat it as it is really cold over here, so he as the extra bills on top of his mortgages that we paid when there, he is sinking money wise and if that is all she wanted shes had it. US we are doing great more or less got our little home sorted now, just the garden needs attention, have planned some trips for me and son this year, and a holiday in august, I say lets live I dont see why son should miss out on life just because his dad is an [censored], still cannot believe that his dad hasn't bothered with him for nearly a year, that year will never be replaced in a childs life, but he has been with skank nearly three years now and that three years will never be replaced with either of us. Watching steelersfan's thread with awe and admiration, she got the bomb and her h leaving more or less the same time as me, she is so further along, but having said that her h didn't rush into a marriage with the village whore.
Mandy, You and your son are in a far, far better place than your former ex. They reap what they sow and it's not always on our dime either. I truly believe that the man upstairs will see this through and he will come crashing down and then it will be too late to capture what he left behind. Yes, time spent w/children or lack there of, can never be replaced. Just remember, you stepped out of his drama and now that drama is all on him and that Mrs.
You sound so much better and I'm happy to see that you have some trips planned for you and your son. The garden will shape up nicely once the weather warms up and I have no doubt that life will be even better for the two of you as time moves ahead. No matte what happens, you are a suvivor and a success story. You are very rich in the wealth of family, friends and the love of your childen. What does he have? Bills, debt and the town "ho" as his Mrs.
Mandy, I wish you and your son all of the very best. Don't look back, look ahead to a bright future for the two of you! The best is yet to come!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderley, I thank you for your words of wisdom and for looking in on me, yes we are doing better and we do seem happier. I have also just noticed your amount of posts, you are only 12 of the 10k well done that is some going and most of it advice to us lbs's. thanks again snodderly
I would also like to add that the worse they treat the LBS and children during the crisis the harder they fall.
He will FALL VERY HARD.
It will be your decision how you treat him when this happens and what your goals are.
Love
Goal/Trusting
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I would also like to add that the worse they treat the LBS and children during the crisis the harder they fall.
He will FALL VERY HARD.
Trusting, Mandyloo,
I just hope that my STBX does find the bravery to reach out to our sons before this is totally just too late. It is also a year since H cast eyes on his youngest son, so many changes, the boy is now a young man and H missed it.
Trusting I do hope you are right, that they do fall, because that is what it is going to take, H isn't ready yet though, he is too busy enjoying himself, care free soul or so it would appear.
jmw, when I get time I will check your sitch, this is one part that I cannot get my head round at all, ex always used to say son was the most and best thing that had ever happened for him, he loved him unconditionally, now nearly a year and nothing, no money sent for son's food etc, no contact, about 5 missed calls to son's cell phone but they were number witheld, so may not have been dad, how in the lord's name can they just turn away from their own flesh and blood so cleanly and strongly, to just walk away and not bother, to not look back and check how your kid's doing, he even threw us out of our home, couldn't care less if son was on streets, whats gone wrong, he was far from being like this, I don't believe it is just cause he's rushed and got married to the village ho, it sure has to be this bloody mlc business, but to turn on your kids.
I have always been very close to the boys, always worked around them, H was close but the boys and I also worked around him, so I guess we functioned as a family.
With H out of the picture, we are still functioning, life doesn't seem much different from that aspect. H's job, shifts, long hours, time away, was a let down for family life, but we involved him when he was around and had fab hols, we felt he was a part of the family.
Now that he is totally out of the picture and our life is pretty much unchanged I wonder how much H did actually fit in. When sons were babies and young children he would dash home and spend loads of time playing with them, it would appear that as they have got older he had distanced himself, he didn't get involved with their activities, mainly outdoor. I think the invention of the lap top and internet access, even in the garden, killed his relationship with them. During the last year before H left he would come home and go straight to the lap top, or be sat txting, it was so annoying, it was constant, the lads could not engage him in activities or conversation, I annoyed him if I interupted or complained, it became a relief when he was out. I had to ask him if he was looking forward to our skiing hol Christmas 2005, cause I just couldn't suss him out, of course he reassured me that he was just tired and apologised, he bucked up, he must have realised that he wasn't invloved in the holiday prep. This was short lived, the bomb, just 2 wks later. my instincts were spot on. I think H worked on distancing himself, but two years ago it seemed that he just stopped caring, I think this is becuase we just compensated for his declining involvment in family life, I had done it in the past when he had to work away for long spells, but H made up for the time away when he'd get home, this time was different, he was physically present but absent in mind & soul.
H lost his membership card for the family club, and hasn't looked for it, instead he joined another club, a club with no rules or constraints.An exclusive club that doesn't allow membership for spouses or offspring.
Our D is nearly final, H has not disclosed most of documents required of him, mine are all placed in court, yet he hasn't even offered his, it would seem that he doesn't follow anybodies rules, not even court rules. I'm not sure if this will turn out to his advantage, I've read that penalties are rarely enforced in the uk. Up tp now his followers are with him, although I feel they are beginning to see through the cracks. My L said his L is frustrated, my L has offered his L info that he had withheld, my L said his was professionally embarrassed.
I do not know a way forward with H's relationship with lads, it is beyond me, he seems a closed shop, I'm pleased for you and your son, starting afresh and getting on with it seems to be the only way forward, it would appear that your move out came at a good time- house price slump, what a bonus, your H asked for that one, I really do believe in fate.
