I know that you want your M to work, but you need to work on yourself. You are trying so hard and yet continue to sabotage your efforts. I know that it is hard for you to keep from snooping, but in the long run it really doesn't matter what is on his phone. Unless you are looking for ammunition for a D knowing he is texting an OW will only hurt and make you want to lash out at him.
The more your pursue and accuse him of things the more he is going to tell you how truly happy he is whether it is true or not. You have to show him how you have changed. Don't tell him, show him. Don't call him, don't text him. When you talk to him make it only about the kids and logistical topics. Be loving and supportive.
I can tell you that if I were him and you started to support me as to what I was doing, it wouldn't be long before I realized that it was the family that was my strength, not the new lifestyle. Let him do what he is going to do. You need to pray and let go of all the little things that are getting to you. Just do what you have to do to take care of your kids and to love him from a distance.
I know it is hard, believe me. We all hurt but you need to get another outlet for your pain. Vent here, work out, run, walk, talk to God, pray, sign up for kickboxing whatever it takes. You can do this. Focus on the the big picture. Stand for your M and know that you will have to go through the fire before you get to the finish.
Keep working, it IS worth it.
-Bryan
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
