When a spouse is acting suspicious by taking phone calls outside that last for hours on end does the other spouse have the right to investigate on their own if the spouse is acting suspicious and denies any wrongdoing?
I went through my husband's cell phone records on the cell phone bill since the bill was extemely high and then went through the numbers on his cell phone and found multiple numbers that were of a concern to me. I brought it to my husband's attention and he denied ever making the calls. He said it must have been someone at the bar who borrowed his phone. I didn't believe him and he holds it against me that I do not trust him.
I looked through his computer and found that he had been romantically involved with another woman online for 3 years. We'd only been married for 1 year before he took up with her online.(Keep in mind that 99%) of their communication was while he was at work online or outside on the phone for hours on end with her. What I found blew me away. He was making promises of showering her with gifts if only she'd marry him. He had told her that he'd waited his entire life for a woman like her and he'd never loved anyone like he loved her. He denied that it was cheating and said it was just an online release where he could talk to someone who would listen to him and he said their phone sex was better than anything we'd experienced together as a couple.
He dropped his wallet out of his pants one day on the way to the shower and when he realized it came running in and snatched it up looking at me in a funny way. That got my curiousity up and one day while cleaning out his truck which I did every Spring by his request I came across his wallet and found his girlfriend's picture in it with the words "My Baby" written on the back. When I confronted him about the picture of another woman, his girlfriend in his wallet he became outraged that I had invaded his private belongings.
That hurt my feelings. I called her a whore and he punched me in the jaw about knocking me down.
A year later he still hadn't deleted their love letters from his computer that was in our bedroom. I felt like I was being punished for having found the stuff in the first place. I told him I didn't like sharing my bedroom with their love letters still on the desktop. Instead of deleting them he yanked the computer from the desk and stomped outside and threw the whole computer in the lake off the pier.
To this day he is furious that I "Invaded His Privacy" and that I had no right to dig into his private belongings.
I received a phone call from a friend of my husband's girlfriend wanting to know his work phone number. She said it was urgent and she had to get ahold of him. My husband yelled at me for getting upset over this phone call and told me to mind my own damn business. I thought being married to him made that phone call my business since they called me here at home.
He's furious at me for acting scared of him when he gets angry. He says he's never done anything for me to justify being afraid. Once after a fight when he was extremely angry at me he decided to clean his gun and he kept giving me hateful looks while doing so. I wasn't taking any chances so I left with the kids for the day. He said I was over-reacting to make him look like the bad guy. He'd never cleanded his guns after an argument before and I felt uneasy about the whole situation so I acted in what I thought was the responsible way by just heading out for a while.
I was at a friend's house this summer and for the first time was away from home alone without the kids. I got a call from the kids who are 24 and 16 telling me they were concerned for me because Dad had come through the house asking where I was and when I'd be home. He walked back outside and grabbed his Machete and began whacking the weeds down. I got home as fast as I could. It was out of character for him to do anything like that since he hasn't taken a notion to do any type of yardwork in 11 years.
I've known people who've had affairs and they were always paranoid about where their spouses were and what they were doing. One friend of mine timed her husband if he went to the store for milk.
When a spouse is acting supsicious and refuses to talk to the spouse inquiring does a spouse have a right to investigate on their own to find out the truth on what is really going on?
He is still furious that I had the audacity to invade his privacy and he will never forgive me for it. I should have never touched his computer, wallet, or phone. I had NO RIGHT!
