Thank you so much for your thoughts and words. It's strange how reading passages over and over again allows more of a perspective to seep in.
In some ways I feel like I'm playing a role, applying the basic principles which make an awful lot of common sense. My relationship with my kids changed with my 'wake up call' with H's revelation. All of sudden the need to justify that my way was the right way, a sense of defensiveness all melted away.
I have to work on not talking about my feelings or beliefs to H at this point since that's something he's uncomfortable with. In some ways over the years, it was easier to deny them and behave in increasingly destructive passive/aggressive behavior.
Ack.. I babble. It's not all about me. Loving my H and kids with all my heart is excellent advice. Love him enough to let him go as my babysteps of improving my life allows change on all our parts.
