I lost touch with your sitch , looks like you have been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride.
The hostile , angry, blaming thing is normal , your W is lost and needs an outlet for what she probably feels more about herself than you. Anger is a warm emotion , if she was indifferent to you she would probably not get angry.
A lot of what you are doing will be basic DB'ing but you have lost sight of your Goal. This happens and there are a few of us who are this far in , separated and not sure about what we want.
Its a sort of limbo . Once when you were fighting for your M it was all clear , a solid goal , and steps to get there.
Until you can attain that clear goal then you probably are not going to progress too far.
If you honestly still want to save your M then you have to make that the priority. Put the what ifs, and doubts aside , trust will be something to deal with in piecing if you get there .
