Tried to catch up on the sad things you and your girls are having to go through this weekend.
You have gotten great ideas from good friends that have been through or are going through similar situations. I just wanted to comment on OW. But since the moderators are more active these days, I would probably get censored outa here!
Seriously, you are going to benefit from getting a perspective on OW role here, and establishing some consistent ways of dealing with her. She is a cheater. She is a homewrecker. She is all those things, and maybe more. But she did none of this alone. Your STBX has been in lockstep with her all along. Maybe she is able to control him the way she is trying to control his R with the kids.
She is living her own fantasy as you say. She will completely do what she must and destroy all challengers in order to AVOID coming off as the whore that broke up the M. She will also absolutely refuse to accept any guilt in all this. The more she casts blame your way, the more she can distance herself from such blame.
She will look for every opening to sell her story to the kids. She is running a marketing campaign. And since she is such a control friek she believes she can tell your kids what kind of R they will have with their dad, and eventually with her. She wants to live the picket fence life she took from you.
As for as her story, I don't recall if her H left her for another ho, or if she dumped him to take up with your STBH. But she is going to make him miserable in time and it is the life he couldn't be without. In her mind she surely justifies her every word and deed. There will be NO rational adult dialog with her. To her, you are the defeated enemy and she will have no respect or regard for your concerns. She knows best.
She might explain why your STBX is being so controlling with you now. He doesn't get any say at all in his new life with Mommy Dearest. Ok, so back to your girls. I don't know what to add. Keep loving them. Listen, answer, be honest ... love unconditionally.
