Well, H just left with the kids. When he arrived at first, he gave the kids hugs, and even gave one to me. Felt a little unsure about that but allowed it, although I did pull away first.

Went over allergy meds with H for two of our boys, then took out the parenting order agreement for him to read over, initial, and sign. He wanted me to let him take the form with him (to his place), but I said no. I probably wouldn't get it back because he might misplace it. Didn't say that to H, just told him no, that I was responsible for it and would appreciate it if he could just take the minute or two it would take him to go through it. He said alright and sat down.

He seemed to have an issue with one stipulation which states "neither parent is permitted to transport the minor child(ren) within 8 hours of consuming any alcoholic beverage, or illegal drug, or any combination thereof...". H asked what if he wanted a beer or something while the kids were with him. I said I think that's ok as long as you don't plan to drive anywhere with them soon after (duh!), and I reminded him that he didn't have to agree with anything he didn't want to, and if that was the case, then he shouldn't initial next to that specific, or any other, stipulation.

He initialed all of them.

At one point, H looked up at me from the paper, smiled, and asked why I hadn't put any makeup on to look sexy for him. I laughed and said sorry. With this cold and my allergies bugging me, makeup was the least of my concerns this morning.

A little while later, H gathered the boys' overnight things and told them to get into his car. H approached me then gave me another hug asking if I was mad at him. Surprised me a bit, and I asked for what? H said he just wanted to know if I was mad at him. I said no. I've got nothing to be mad about, I'm through with being angry.

As I walked ahead of him to the car so that I could say goodbye again to the kids, H kept bumping me from behind with the kids' overnight bag and then with his elbow as he passed me up. I asked what was he doing that for, and he said he was just being nice. Ok, I guess.

I gave the boys goodbye hugs and kisses and told them to have fun with Dad. H stood outside his car, smiled at me, and said, "Have a nice weekend, Levi's!" It donned on me that wasn't the first time H called me "Levi's" since he arrived today, and it took me a second to finally realize that the t-shirt I'm wearing says "Levi's" across the front!

So I said, "Ok, you, too, Dickie's!"

H laughed and we said goodbye.

I feel good right now. H and I are still able to laugh and joke with each other. We can still be civil towards one another, and we both still care. There may not be as many of these days as I'd like, but it's good to know that the possibility for more does exist, whether we're together or not.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell