Wow did I have another set back lastnight. Called H and talked for an hour and a half about our S8 and how severe it has gotten and told him that our problems were all fixable and we owed it to our kdis to at least try to fix them. He then told me he is trying to fix them by going to counseling with S8 and I to fix S8 but not us. Told me this new life makes him truly happy and that this is now who he is and his new life is none of my business. He is here today with the kids and seems more friendly to me so I can only hope our talk lastnight, or mostly me talking at him, is working on his mind and heart.
I did let temptation get the better of me though and peeked in his cell while it was sitting on the ledge and he was off in another part of the hosue playing with S8 and only looked through texts send and received and he must have recently cleared it because there was only yesterday in there. Well anyway a text came through to his number lastnight at 10:10 p.m. that said only, "Hay Sexy" to which he never replied nor called to. Of course dingaling me snuck up here to my office and sent it a text from my phone asking who this was because the number showed up on my text bill. No response yet and I may never get one and YES I know H may get wind of it too. A risk I have no choice now but to be willing to take since I let that damn devil take over me for a minute. I never ran the risk of going through his contacts as it would take too much time and I would surely have gotten caught. Heck, who in the world would be sending him a text like that at that time of night other than a woman. Now sure it could be nothing more than a joke or innocent flirting or it surely could be more than that but if it were I would expect he would have replied or called. Who knows but there I go giving myself one more thing to waste precious effort worrying about.
Phooeeeeey on me.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
