What you wrote definitely validates my experience. Didn't sleep too well last night and jolted awake by the phone ringing this morning. I'm going to meet with a friend I haven't seen for many years this morning...she's just passing through town with her H. That's a nice surprise. It will be good to give me something to do and some contact. I don't seem to have been able to shake how I'm feeling...I've just been crying non-stop this morning--I mean really crying and sobbing--not even sure why, but I feel terribly lonely right now and hopeless.
I guess it was pretty stressful to see my W. last night and I'm probably still "decompressing"? I think I feel very frustrated too about myself and how well she ? seems ? to be doing in comparison. I feel really broken inside and like I am soooo far "behind" where I need to be...like somehow I need to race to catch up to where she is to be feeling okay, somehow having at least as good a life as she is. I feel like a real failure, like I fall so short on all these fronts. I know I've been doing the right steps re: DBng and my interactions with her, but it is hard to put into words how incredibly much my heart hurts and the emptiness. So many tears this morning. I feel so much sadness and hurt right now.
Well, I better go get ready to go see my friend. Got to put some kind of structure / activity into my day. I must sound like I am whining like a child, but I feel really overcome with the loneliness and hurt this morning like I haven't felt it for some time.
