Thanks all. My only comment is that I didn't choose any words to 'punish' my W. I wanted to give her a perspective..in terms of how SHE felt about me in the past...to know where my feelings stood right now.
Why? So you could feel better?
I agree with Jeff. She did something nice in the midst of chaos and your response was to diminish the action TO HER by dragging up the past so she could be reminded of her mistakes while she was in the midst of TRYING to do SOMETHING to make up for at least one of them.
No, not a 'baby step' but geeze man, she's HUMAN.
Is it so hard for you to ACCEPT anything from her that comes from a place of caring? Where is the FIB who is 'detached', because your response to her wasn't from 'detachment', it was from anger and a need to punish.
If my W had given me something like yours gave you (she gave me nothing) I would have thanked her and smiled. Not because I would have thought she was she was 'coming back' but because she was reaching out to me. She was trying to say "I care" in any way she could find to do it.
Yeah, your W did some awful things that violated your trust, broke your vows and are generally SH*TTY. And she will likely pay for it by losing you forever.
But YOU are so caught up in the anger that you won't at least see that the more you keep beating her up when she tries to treat YOU decently, because you see it as her manipulating you, the more you will NOT be able to deal with her when you DO get divorced.
Read the 'blue book' again because you are not 'lovingly forgiving' her.
Or, just kick her to the curb NOW and save her and yourself more pain because no matter what she has done, she doesn't deserve to continually be told that anything she does now, even if it's out of confused emotions, is wrong and to be thrown back in her face.
Like my counselor said to me years ago. Treat her like Jesus would treat a stranger.
Maybe you'll never talk to me again but I gotta tell you that when we talk on the phone and I bring up anything where I think my W is doing 'something' with her 'text message' friend you get loud and angry and tell me how I shouldn't even TRY to believe she may NOT be doing what I think she is. You then usually go off on how YOU tried to believe that you could trust your W and were proven wrong over and over.
I FEEL the anger through the phone. It hurts me to feel it.
