Thanks all. My only comment is that I didn't choose any words to 'punish' my W. I wanted to give her a perspective..in terms of how SHE felt about me in the past...to know where my feelings stood right now. It certainly helps to keep thins in a 'positive light' for the time being..for the sake of the kids.
Indeed Jeff, candies and a shirt ARE actions...actions she's done in the past. Shirts, candies....spooning......etc....were all done during times of indiscretions. It's simply just not enough....for me...right now.
I don't expect anymore...like I did in the past...that a bolt of lightening is going to come down from the heavens and suddenly, there is XXX saying 'I just woke up from the worst dream...I love you..let's make love and start all over again'. That's not coming.
But for an M to be successful and STABLE FOR THE LONGTERM, there needs to be something greater.
It isn't spooning. It isn't chocolates or shirts. It isn't having coffee being made for you in the morning.
Monkeys can do that.
There is something greater that needs to be here and like The Little Train That Could, it all starts with an "I think I can".
THAT needs to come from her. It isn't huge. It isn't total submission.
It's something very small...something that ALL OF US..by now...would recognize.
It's not here.....you'll have to trust me..it's not here.
It's not safe to un-detach. It's not safe to open and trust. It's not safe to change and pursue. It's not safe to stop this right now...for me....for my kids.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
