much to my surprise (yes), my W gave me an upper level box of chocolates, a new shirt from Armani Exchange and a card, that, well, fell quite short in my mind considering what she says to me. Please...I know that many of you would prefer to say positives about the card and certainly it is better than being treated like dirt...but it is out of place with regards to her words. Her actions are more important to me now..
I hate to point out that giving you a gift was an action my friend. It is one of the five love languages.
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Written: Dear Frank, I know that it's not the happiest one, but I hope that it gets better. Happy Valentine's Day. Love, XXX (her full formal name).
Your response should have been "thank you". Nothing more, nothing less.
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Me: XXX....almost two years ago, on Father's Day...you didn't give me a card ......
Each time we bring up the past we wish things were different. We attempt to change what cannot be changed. We suffer and we make her suffer. Every time you try to explain or justify, everyone loses.
She may deserve to suffer Frank but you are above dishing that out. And you are above hurting you.
Remember we are shooting for forgiveness. To live in the present momment with a vision for a better future.
Let the past go Frank.
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If there is anyway to save our M, XXX (see, I STILL have left a door open a crack)...it would take a miracle...you would have to move mountains. I'm sorry. I'm sure YOU KNOW what would need to be done. But...I WILL know what it looks like if it happens.
You left the door open? By setting impossible expectations? By insisting that she knows?
Is it not better to wait and see without requiring they please us?
The rest of your post says you are done, or at least tries to. No need to pick those words apart.
We both know that there is an internal conflict still. How do I know? B/c I have the same conflict, even after my divorce.
Hurts like hell does it not my friend? And it sucks.
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Where's the beef?
Maybe she is out of beef? Maybe she is trying to offer you that new chicken sandwich?
Just a thought to ponder.
In any event, you know my feelings here Frank. But maintaining an open mind and a positive outlook is not a bad thing.
Please try not to let those internal conflicts rule your thinking. Concentrate on you and the kids.
