SOunds like it went well then? Its a miracle you got to spend an evening with her and well done on being able to keep the conversation going without R talk and even make her laugh a little. I tried that last week and it was ok, but I ended up being quiet at times. You were bound to be upset when you got home, its so unnatural, this person thats so familiar and lovely to you, sat there with a "do not touch" exclusion zone around her. I can relate to that..me and my BF were packing a box together and he was so near I could smell him and all I wanted to do was hug him, yet I knew I couldnt touch him.
Its awful to look back and kick yourself on what you did wrong, I do the same. But I also accept taht my BF was a crap communicator and just didnt tell me how unhappy he was, or why. Perhaps your W should have let you in sooner on how she was feeling, given you a chance to remedy the sitch instead of leaving. Its so hard to bear though, I know. I find it impossible to understand that he doesnt want to touch me or be physical anymore, but in a way, they are protecting themselves, its a barrier, a boundary that they cant cross, whether they wanted to or not. No way of knowing if they want to, and are just hiding it, or whether that feeling is no longer there for them I guess, right now.
What can you do to make your life more full, more excitable, give you things to talk to her about? Can you join a class, a group, go away somewhere for a few nights? Anything !
I was learning how to play Fake Plastic Trees (mastered it!) and Street Spirit (no chance) by Radiohead, on guitar. I feel proud to have learnt a song, as my guitar playing is not great!
