On her "move to the other side of the Valley" - you are right to stick to your guns. You can validate her "I understand it's not a perfect scenario, divorce never is, but D4 needs her father. Scottsdale may not be convenient for you, the other side of the Valley is not convenient for me. So what's best for D4?"
On the OM - this is a tough pill to swallow at first, but it gets easier: he is INSIGNIFICANT. Don't make this about you, W & OM. It isn't. It's about you and W. Though on it's face, an OM makes us feel as though our manhood is diminished. It's not the case. OM has been whispering the right things in W ear. He is on his best behavior ... on stage. Sooner hopefully rather than later, he has to show his dark side. His faults. We all have them. He sure does. Just the fact he would go after someone else's W and destroy a family throws up a red flag. Give him the rope to hang himself.
These first few weeks are the toughest - but once you get through them, the DB'ing gets easier. And it may take several months for her world to unravel, to find the grass is not greener on the other side of the valley, but it will.
Just one thing to have handled differently, and in the totality, it is minor. But unfortunately, it shows neediness:
Quote:
I sent her a text and told her giving the items was completely my call and not my Ls because I want them to have the things they need.
She knows this. You don't need to point it out to her. Just do the right thing at all times and she will notice. Pointing it out to her is pressure.
And one more thing that I'm not reading in your thread that is a concern. And frankly has to be the focus for you in the next "season" you spend without W in the same house. I'm not finding what the issues inside the M were - and what RTL is doing to change things up. 180's. Becoming a better man and better father. What's your plan? Or are you going to allow your WAW to determine your fate?
Standing for your M does not mean "standing still" as so many misinterpret.
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
