like lwb say's, YOU are our No1 priority and you seem to be making it harder for yourself.
Your W is acting like a teenager and the more you try to stop her the more determined she will be to do something. I have similar fights, (obviously not over the same things or on the same scale) with my rather fiesty 15yr old daughter nearly every day. I have learnt I HAVE to use reverse psychology. When she came home at age 14 and told me she had an 18yr old BF I felt sick. Could I show it - NO. I gritted mt teeth, smiled, and said "Bring him home honey - we'd love to meet him". Did I ever see him? - no. Did it last long?- no. The whole purpose of him was to pi$$ mom off and when it didn't work she saw him for the dead beat he was and disposed of him.
I would push your W to Shrek - by all accounts he is a no good SOB. The more she see's him the more easily she will see this. If you are going to expend cash and energy do it on something that will sort this mess out. FILE!!!!!
At the moment I truly believe you will lose the goodwill of your IL's and that is not in either your's or your kids interests.
Mark, we care about you and we can see you hurting, that is why we say these things. Sometimes not backing down is counter productive, other times it can be good. It just seems that in your situation you have done those two things at the wrong time. I don't think she will expect you to file and it would be a big shock. The only reason I can see for not filing is if you think you could maybe continue to be M'd if she came back with her head in her hands begging for forgiveness. Somehow though, Mark, I don't think you would want her if she did that and my guess is that there is SO much bad will between you now that she wouldn't try to do that even if she wanted to. There is no safe road home for her to you at the moment.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
