Wandering Poster is Counting Down

[Dom R]

It is hard to describe, but sayig she is right, agreeing with her, doesn't work. If I disagree, I'm wrong, if I agree, I'm only doing it to shut her up, if I say nothing I am avoiding the discussion. In most cases it has turned into a lose-lose situation. I'm sure in large part due to negative expectations on both sides. It's become a habit. I have really tried to bread it on my side, but it seems to only take one to have a fight!

I think you are in some respects, playing the victim here.
you're pretending that she's the only one putting negative energy in. But you are doing it too. you're just doing it in a passive-aggressive way.

If you want to save your marriage... I would like to suggest that you follow the DB chapter about doing things with a "beginner's eyes".
Try to take a fresh look at EVERY interaction you have with her.
Down to EVERY word, EVERY guesture, that you make.

Try to see what you are doing, that is making things worse between the two of you.
Then, if you can see it... stop it.

As far as an OM, I am as sure as I can be that there isn't. Of course, I would not be the first to be wrong about that. But really, her time is awfully well accounted for. And there is nothing at all on her cell phone, though of course she could be hiding one. But never using it that I can tell. A lot of anti-man stuff comes out of her mouth, I get to take the brunt, being one, but I think it is real. She holds a lot of resentment over real and perceived wrongs inflicted on women by men through all of history.

aha... you might keep an eye out for the possibility of an "OW" then.

it's a long shot. But stranger things have been seen on these forums. IF there is... it doesnt mean that you have lost her. It just means that things got a lot more complicated.