I had a great time tonight with my sister and bil. Went for coffee then a FANTASTIC dinner, then back to their house to watch a movie.
I called STBX to say goodnight to the girls. He didn't answer so I left a message using a very friendly voice. They never called my cell back. On my way home I sent STBX a TM asking him to please have the girls call me tomorrow.
Tonight I get home and check my VM at the house, they called here. D5 said goodnight mommy, I love you, I want to see you and that they are going into the city tomorrow. Then I heard STBX in the background saying to let D9 say goodnight to me.
Her message is what has me bothered. Her voice was a little shaky and she said "Good night mom, I love you. And I know about it."
WTH is that? She knows about what?
The only thing I can think of is that they told her the I am the one that filed for D. Maybe that is what ow meant when she said that I left her dad too.
If that is what she meant I will have to explain it to her when she gets home where I can sit down with her and actually talk. What do I say to her???? Do I just tell her that I was tired of STBX disrepecting me and living with another woman while still M to me? Do I try to explain that I knew STBX wanted to go forward with the D and that even though I didn't want it that I understand that it is going to happen and that I was trying to control WHERE it takes place to make future changes to it easier for us? How much do you tell a child??? I guess it also depends on what STBX and ow told her. God only knows.
Of course this is all speculation on my part but I can't think of anything else that would cause her to have a shaky voice and leave a cryptic message.
I never actually tried to hide the fact that I am the one that file for D. We haven't ever talked about it. I have told her that a D is going to happen but I didn't feel that she needs to know the details of the D. I know she will be mad with me and I am ready to deal with that.
I feel that STBX and ow would tell my D9 this in order to get her mad at me since they believe I am trying to ruin his R with the girls. Very childish, but totally believable that they would. STBX is a controll freak and he is trying this would gain him something somehow in his mind I guess. Maybe underminding my R with D9.
I swear I am living a life that has gone completely out of my control and I can't stand that.
