Thanks for all your support. Not much to report and I don't feel like I'm truly Dbing anymore, so I don't post much these days. Being away from the site has helped with detachment too.
I still see H on weekends. He's been nicer lately. Treating me with more respect (which translates into him saying Hi and Bye and even looking at me when he says it). He occasionally asks questions about the boys or makes comments about them. I usually have very little to say to him. He's a stranger to me and I think it shows in how I've been responding to him lately. I'm able to laugh and have a good time with the rest of his family who I'm so much closer to now. But with H, it's gone.
I have a better understanding of why NC can be good for some. With time and detachment, it's been easier to leave all of what happened in the past. A friend asked me the other day if I was angry at my H and I could honestly say that I'm not. It all feels like so long ago, although there are definitely moments where I feel I'm still caught up in all of it. But that's exactly what they are - moments that come and go, like when I get in my car after work, or when I'm walking down the aisle in the supermarket. I think of H like I do of an old boyfriend. Our time together was good but it's in the past.
I do hope to continue feeling this way because I really do feel like I'm ready for anything that comes my way. Finally.
