I also touched base with three really good friends I hadn't talked to in a while:
-One told me I was doing amazing, compared to another friend who had just gone through a breakup and was not dealing with it at all, she said in comparison it was like I 'broke a nail' which made me laugh so hard (esp b/c we're cellists, so we have no fingernails, they have to be stubby and short!!)
-Another ... this is awesome... told me about her experience as a WA. She and her then-boyfriend-now-husband broke up because of problems in their R. He wanted to work things out but gave her space to let her figure it out. She said that was the number one most important thing that helped her move towards reconciliation... that he gave her the space to really figure out what was right for her, not for him. She said the whole time she knew that he loved her, and the hardest thing in the end was accepting that he could forgive her. After about a year, they started dating again, a couple years later they got engaged, and now they are happily married and coordinating very exciting careers. It was so wonderful to hear it from her that I was doing the right thing.
-My third friend just WA'ed from her beloved boyfriend of many years. I have hope for their reconciliation!! But it was really helpful to get her perspective. She told me that what happens is you feel overwhelmed, so overwhelmed that you just become numb, and then the numbness turns to ambivalence. Because it is so stressful to try to hold two opposing thoughts in your head (stay or go) you just pick one and go with it. But she reassured me that I was doing the right thing too. It was amazing to connect with her.
