Time for truth and honesty for a new beginning

[phbear316]

lwb

Thank you.

Well its now after 11pm and still not word. Just had a thought hopefully he is not hurt somewhere. which makes me want to contact him and say. Oh I'm just checking to see if you are ok, you left home 12 hours ago.

but i won't, i can't. you are right this does hurt so much. I keep trying to tell myself he is working,. I wonder if he ever came home and even saw my note and just went out on his own. I know he did not. He is with her.

well i have been thinking while trying to do some some work i brought home, that i think i will remove my check from the joint checking account. I feel i have reached my boiling point with him spending my money on her.

Oh one other thing, at dinner. Our next door neighbor his wife, and another couple come in, I wave and say hi to them. Now keep in mind never mind we are neighbors, but i have know the men my whole life. They were friends with my cousins so i have know them forever. SInce they grew up in town, my h also has known them since childhood. My neighbor and is wife had a strange look on their face when they realized that my h was not there. You know I look at that empty seat so many times tonight and my heart felt so empty. I know it was my mom's birthday, but all 4 of us always celebrated birthdays together. Having to look forward to one less at birthdays just hurts so much.

I have to go now, i cannot stop crying

bear