Martyrs always believe themselves to be decent human beings, trying to help others and sacrifice themselves. Altruism is good when doe for the sake of altruism. When done as a means to gain acceptance, find love, or even an ego boost, then it becomes self destructive. It’s just hard to see that. I‘ve not known any martyrs who have been able to see that in themselves, but I’ve known plenty of people who could see that very dynamic in the martyr.
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Either that or she really liked having sex and became an eccentric rebel type because it was against the rules to have sex.
We all like having sex. But that’s the hypocrisy in society, isn’t it? Men can have lots of sex and become experienced, but women who do so become sluts. I’m not saying that is right or fair, that’s just the way it is. If a woman does not want to follow those rules, then good for her, but the “consequence” is that others WILL think of her as a slut, or maybe a “freak.” It think the men Mojo was dating knew that about her and were ok with it. SHE was the one who was not. That raises the question of what exactly is it that she wants?
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Or could it be that the daughter of somebody who actually has a biological condition known as bi-polar might exhibit the usual 'symptoms' of children of the bi-polar. High intelligence, sex drive and creativity.
Now you’re going back to your deflection ways. Maybe bipolar is a reasonable excuse for your mother, because back then people understood less about the condition, there was more of a taboo to seeing a shrink, and there was not medication to deal with the condition. Today none of that is true, especially for you, since you recognize this as a possible condition you may have. If you do have bipolar tendencies, then get some medication and regulate it, but don’t use it as an excuse for eccentric behavior beyond your control.
You are trying to justify your eccentricity, your “freakishness” and high sex drive, your rebelliousness, and you want your men to accept it and like it too. You might find someone who can do all of that, and he will certainly be worth searching and waiting for. But I think it might be a long shot.
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Of course, I could probably start chugging fish oil, carbohydrates and lithium and get a job doing data entry and a nice bland husband who I wouldn't even want to f*ck me after we sat on our plastic covered sofa watching "Murder She Wrote" together on Saturday night. On second thought, I think I'll take the occasional crying jag.
This is VERY interesting to me. What is it against “bland” people and “bland” lifestyles that you hate so much? What makes you so much better because you are not “bland?” Furthermore, by what standard do you define “bland?” I bet there of some people who may appear “bland” who have a very adventurous, daring, exciting side to them. What is it about “convention” that makes it better to be alone and disappointed and to have a crying jag? What snotty little rich kid(s) put you down and teased you when you were young?
