You are in shock and may be for awhile. That's why it's so important to take care of yourself. Don't worry about him thinking you're a "gold-digger" and wanting to much. You have to look at this as a business transaction and think of yourself.
You're right that it would be easier for you if he was gone. I don't know if it would be better for things between you (or your M) in the long run. It's all case by case.
When you feel better physically, i'd really think about doing something physical. It's the one thing that has really helped me gain some perspective in all of this.
