PS, Hopefully, your H is honest with his C about his gambling relapse, and strives to understand how it occurred. IMO gambling is a behavioral reaction to an uncomfortable emotion. It is encouraging that he was willing to take responsibility in terms of cleaning-up the financial mess he made.
I found the Stages of Change model to be helpful in dealing with my W's smoking in guiding me towards the type and level of help I should be providing. The stages as I remember are Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. The book that outlines this model for both change seekers and helpers is "Changing for Good," by James Prochaska.
I'm not an expert on ADD, but I was reviewing my book "Shadow Syndromes: Recognizing and Coping with the Hidden Psychological Disorders that can Influence Your Behavior and Silently Determine the Course of Your Life," by John Ratey, the author of "Driven to Distraction." He is a psychiatrist who specializies in Adult ADD.
He advocates medication if helpful and building life skills regardless of your diagnosis or shadow syndrome (not yet diagnosed but causing trouble in one's life).
Your H's success on his job this past year is cause for praise and continued hopefullness that he is moving forward. Good for him.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
